Cap'n Crunch's Lost Treasure

Searching Hazy Memories for Bits of Gold

People tell me I have an uncanny memory. While it’s not quite photographic, I remember lots of things most of my friends have long forgotten. For example, in high school I ate lunch at Taco Bell multiple times a week and still remember that four 59-cent items (two bean burritos, two soft tacos) came to $2.51 with tax. I remember things people said to me in grade school, and things I said to them. I have such strong memories of my childhood that when one is a little fuzzy, it really bothers me.

In the early 1980s, my family drove to Chicago on vacation to visit my dad’s family. While there we stayed at my Aunt and Uncle’s house. Technically my “aunt” was my dad’s cousin which officially makes her my “first cousin once removed,” but that concept was too complicated for a kid to understand so “Aunt and Uncle” it was.

I don’t remember the exact year of that trip, but I’ve narrowed it down to either 1981 or 1982. One memory I have of that trip is that while walking up and down the sidewalk outside my Aunt’s house I found a loose Dengar action figure. Dengar was a bounty hunter who appeared in The Empire Strikes Back for about three seconds, but by then Kenner was cranking out action figures of just about anyone who appeared on screen. I’ve read that the Dengar figure was released around Christmas of 1980 as a Sears exclusive and appeared in stores in 1981. I wouldn’t have been excited to find an Empire Strikes Back figure if Return of the Jedi (which came out in 1983) had already been released, so I figure the trip happened either during the summer of either 1981 or 1982.

Also, I’m pretty sure we went in the summer and not over spring break. While there, both my Aunt and Uncle and my Grandpa gave me birthday gifts. My birthday is in August, so getting gifts in the summer makes more sense. My Aunt and Uncle bought me the Fisher Price Adventure People Alpha Probe, which was released in 1980. That tips the scales even more in 1981’s favor, as it may not have been still on shelves in 1982.

So, let’s say it was 1981. I was seven, about to turn eight.

I have a few other memories from that visit. I saw the Goodyear Blimp flying overhead, and my Uncle had Superman for the Atari 2600, which I showed everybody how to play.

But the hazy memory I’m trying to recall had to do with Cap’n Crunch.

I vaguely remember my Aunt saying, “I don’t know what kids eat for breakfast,” and so a box of Cap’n Crunch cereal appeared. The 1980s were literally the golden age of breakfast cereals. Every cereal box looked like a Saturday Morning Cartoon, just bursting with color and stuffed with sugar. As far as I was concerned, the more marshmallows the better. Lucky Charms and Count Chocula were my favorites, but Cookie Crisp and Cap’n Crunch were good, too.

Cap’n Crunch alternated between offering cool toys and having national contests. Of course there’s the infamous Cap’n Crunch whistle that allowed miscreants (including yours truly) to wreak havoc on the phone system, but there were less mischievous items like Wacky Wall Walkers and water funs and these little racers that were powered by blowing up a balloon and attaching them to them. It was a simpler time.

In between toy giveaways, the ol’ Cap’n was always having giveaways. Cap’n Crunch was always giving away “a million dollars,” which people later found out was split between all the winners. Lots of kids (10,000, to be exact) won $100 gift certificates.

So, here’s that fuzzy memory of mine.

On the box of cereal there was a contest. Again… fuzzy. I think it involved a map and finding a treasure chest. What I do remember was that to find out if you were a winner or not, you had to dial a phone number… and hear the news from the Cap’n himself.

I’ve searched YouTube and the internet and it seems similar to this contest which happened a few years later in 1985.

I can’t remember if it was a long distance phone number, which would have cost money, or if it was a free 1-800 number. All I really remember is the sound of waves crashing, the sound of a ship’s horn, and then Cap’n Crunch saying, “Ahoy, matey!” I don’t remember anything else.

I also can’t find anything else. A few years later in 1984, the Cap’n had another contest featuring treasure chests. That time, each box contained a physical treasure chest with a coin inside that told kids if they were a winner or not. I was not.

Part of the problem is that all these contests seem similar. The Cap’n was always giving money away and it always involved treasure chests or treasure maps and… yeah. Like cereal and milk, it all gets mixed together.

I’ll tell you what bothers me about all of this.

We are rapidly approaching a point where almost everything associated with pop culture has been archived. While there are exceptions here and there, pretty much every song I ever heard on the radio is on Spotify. Every movie I ever saw in a theater is out there to watch. Every book I’ve ever read has been scanned and is out there. Everything my kids grew up with is out there.

But if you’re Gen X… not everything’s there. A lot of stuff is there, but a lot of it isn’t. I remember game shows like The Joker’s Wild and Tic-Tac-Dough, shows I watched growing up and I’ve seen a few episodes of here and there, but not all of them. Back before everybody had a VCR, some stuff slipped through the cracks.

I spent an inordinate amount of time archiving things. I buy VHS tapes and old cassette tapes and if I can’t find them online, I digitize them and send them out into the ether. Other people are doing it, too. I’ve found VHS tapes at garage sales and thrift stores that I scour for old television shows or commercials that haven’t made their way to the “great collective” yet.

Just like the Cap’n treasure, I’ll keep searching for more info on this contest that only exists in the darkest, haziest corner of my rotten brain. Someday, someone will find a copy of the commercial and upload it to YouTube and I’ll watch it, check that box off in my brain, and move on the next memory.